Wednesday, February 26, 2014

What's Mine is Mine, What's Yours is Mine....

Although, I can honestly say I am no expert when it comes to relationships so who am I to dish out some advice? I have no degree in psychology nor do I have the experience and so on and so forth... But in my limited world, I have indeed met some people who's only ambition in life is to please themselves.  It doesn't matter if they've stepped on some people to get ahead, take advantage of other people's generosity or kindness, pretend that they care and when they get what they need.... BAM! They just vanish like a bubble.. Yes, I  must admit you can sense some bitterness in me but hey, I've met and been victimized by some of these creeps.  I always told myself, never again. DON'T TRUST. But, I've been taught to help others, share what you have. Kindness will reap its rewards. Yes rewards but when? After you've been stepped on, trampled, used like a dishcloth? I have no expert advice on how to recover when hit by these people like a virus that just won't go away but what I can suggest is to avoid these people like the plague. Or, beat them at their own game. Use them also, as they have been using you. Heck, the world is filled with what we call symbiotic relationships where one needs the another person for survival.  But as what they always say, prevention is always better than cure.

How do you protect yourself from these parasites? The best thing to do is to identify the innate characteristics of these kind of people.  At some level, each person has a deep need to be selfish at times, to protect their own interest but sometimes, these interests gets in the way of others.  There is nothing wrong with protecting oneself as long as nobody gets hurt. When it starts to affect other people, that's when one should realize it is not about protecting yourself anymore but more on taking advantage of others.  I used to call them leeches with two feet.

So, how can you tell them apart?

  • He constantly blows his own horn. When all a person talks about is himself then it could be a sign that he's a prime candidate for the leeches academy.  Although, we could not easily judge someone who does this he could just be really into himself. He could talk about what his feelings are, what he's been through but never stops to ask - "HOW ABOUT YOU?" . He may let you get a word or two in but he may hear it but is actually not listening to what you're saying. There is a vast difference as to what hearing and listening is about. 
  • He just doesn't care! You may have called and told him you're bleeding to death and all he will tell you is call a taxi and bring yourself to the hospital. Chances are, you're going to see not even a shadow from this person. But reverse the roles and he's calling you cause he just NEEDS to hitch a ride cause he's too lazy to walk but you asked if he could wait for a while or you can't since there's a hundred more things you need to finish then he goes ballistic and tells you that you just don't care - that is a sure sign, this guy is just too self-centered for his own good.  He doesn't value what you feel, doesn't value your time; in short he just don't value YOU!  You both set a date, you both have an appointment but they're late or you've been stood up. Does this show that this person care if they let you wait for hours and doesn't even have the gall to tell you that he or she will be late or is cancelling? What's worse, the excuse is lame or they just doesn't have the excuse nor the sensitivity to acknowledge that what they did is wrong.  Yes, they may apologize but these are false apologies where it might appear that they are asking for sorry not because they regret what they have done but they do it just because it is expected.  
  • Cheapskate. At first they might appear generous but in the long run, they live by the saying its better to receive than to give. Enough said. They like taking advantage of your generosity but when it comes to reciprocating the gesture, they suddenly become afflicted with amnesia.  They may be a cheapskate on others but definitely not on themselves.  Because you are too kind you offer to drive them home or to lend them a thing or two but when you are the one who needs a ride home? They are nowhere to be seen.  Lots of excuses but nothing really relevant.  They might tell you they can't pay what they owe because he has to pay for gas, pay for his food and a whole lot of excuses when as a matter of fact - he is just to lazy to walk or so full of himself to take public transport and even help Mother Earth in saving Gas. Sacrificing other people's needs because he has to think of his comfort first. 
  • Now you see, now you don't. If they need something from you, they are a regular visitor in your home or seems very supportive but that's because they need something from you but when the time comes that they don't, they are just too busy with some other stuff and has no time. What's worse, they pretend to be the victim here and would appear righteous - a sure sign of the wolf in a sheep's clothing.  When you are asking for them to return your stuff, they become so busy they just don't have the time. Up to a point that they don't answer your calls, your messages and even block you on facebook.  Then when you hound them cause that thing is important to you also, they appeal to others as if they are the one who's been harassed. These people are just so good at what they do that a lot of people fell into their traps. 
  • At their convenience.  Everything happens at their own time, at their own terms at their own convenience. These people doesn't get the concept that other people have needs also just like they do. Sometimes other's needs are far more important that what theirs are. The world has to revolve around them and not the other way around. 
  • Stress-free life. They want a life that is stress-free that is why when they start feeling the pressure they back away and run as fast as a coyote. When you are the one who is in need of support, they definitely not that shoulder to whom you can lean on. For them, "I" will always be the priority.  
  • Make fun of other people. They think that they are the perfect specimen of God. Yes, they may say I'm like this, I'm like that but they might just be fishing for some compliments. No body is perfect and I really don't like it if people are making fun of others to the extent that it's already hurtful. Its different when you tell a joke but there's a fine line between telling a joke and being tactless. 
So, if you encounter someone who shows some of these qualities just be wary but being the kind and unselfish person that I aim to be, always give people the benefit of the doubt. Some may indeed be going through something and is just too afraid to tell but let's just think for a minute and also think that we should also prioritize ourselves also.  It's okay to help others, it's okay to ask someone for help but it is never okay if you are already taking advantage of this person and in a way, hurt them either emotionally or pocket-wise.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

In My Little Corner

It's been twenty plus years since I wrote a poem,

and most of them are just kept well hidden.

Back then it all flows through the tip of the pen.

But now, we have MS Word, to spell check when we're mistaken....

I hope you read it just for fun

and pardon if it doesn't live up to your standard of number one!

Just feeling poetic tonight...

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Liar Liar Pants on Fire...

Have you ever wondered if someone you're talking to is telling a lie, a colorful version of the truth or just plain old truth? Meeting a lot of people everyday, I found it quite a difficult task to distinguish the honest from the liars or the plain psychotic. Yes, I can honestly say I've been lied to numerous times already. I have always believed that there is still some good people around but as the years go by, I am finding it more hard to find true and sincere people. Is it desperation in difficult times or is it already a regular part of their daily routine? Call me naive but I live by the mantra that honesty is still the best policy.  I also believe in karma - "what you give to thee, comes back to you in multiples of three". 

So, how can you tell if you're talking to a liar??? Here are some tips: 
  • Eyes - I always find it fascinating to look at the person or observe a person's eyes when I'm talking to them. I got this from a training I had a long time ago and it has since then been very helpful.  When a person is remembering something he usually rolls his eyes to the left if he's right handed, if he's left handed - he rolls it to the right.  Since the dominant part of the brain is opposite of your favored hand. So, when you notice that he rolls his eyes opposite to his dominant side, this usually means that he is making something up. Dominant side, usually pertains to memories and the opposite side, your creativity, that is why rolling it to the right for right handed people simply means he is making something up. It could also be detected by rapid blinking or rubbing of the eye. 
  • Eye contact - before, we can say that a person who doesn't look you straight in the eye is lying but liars knows about it already therefore they intentionally maintain eye contact. Just be more observant, unusual length of time that he maintains this eye contact could be a sign or his eye contact would just seem unnatural.  
  • Hand movements- when a person whom you are talking to is relaxed and doesn't have anything to hide, his body position exhibits a more open position. Crossed arms at the front could mean that he is not welcoming any of your inputs. Maybe because he already has a set decision or story in mind.  Verbally he might be agreeing to what you are talking but deep inside he's thinking about something else. Nose touching or covering the mouth is also another sign of uneasiness. An article said that when a person is lying, there is a rush of adrenaline to the capillaries thus causing the nose to itch. 
  • Sweating - Polygraph tests usually uses this as a measure to test for lies aside from the increase in heart rate and pulse rate.  Unnatural increase in sweat is a sign that someone is not comfortable. It shows unease or nervousness.  
  • Leaning - When you are talking to a person and he leans towards you, it might mean that he is actually interested to what you are actually saying but when he leans backwards this could mean that he is distancing himself from you meaning that he is not giving more information that is necessary.  It could also show lack of interest or a sense of dislike towards the person that he is talking to. 
  • Yawning or bored attitude - This could show that he acts as if he is bored or act casual but it could also mean that he is trying to cover up a deception.  
  • Verbal cues - A person who is lying is innately very defensive.  When you are just talking about something or stating an opinion he will jump at you and become very defensive and go for an all out explanation or show signs of distress or anger.  He might act sarcastic or pretend to be humorous but as a matter of fact he is just to cover his web of lies and distract you or drive you further away from the truth. Subtle delays in response could mean that he is still making up what he will answer. 
These are just some useful tips on how to detect a liar but not everything here is carved in stone.  A person who may fidget a lot may be just plain old nervous. It is always important to look into the deeper side of things and not to judge a person immediately just because you saw some of these things. It is always best to get to know that person better and then observe if he or she is doing something that makes you second guess their intentions.

There is no harm in protecting yourself from these snakes and being careful.

Au Revoir!!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

True Colors: What does your favorite color represent???

Don't you ever wonder why a particular person never gets sick of wearing the same shade of pink or blue over and over again? Or is there a particular reason why they do this or are they aware of it or not? What does this mean? These are just some questions that pop into my head... Like myself, for so long I always love blue. Blue clothes, bags, bed sheets, even my bathroom is blue but then I passed onto a phase where I feel like wearing pink. It has become my color of the  month or year. Am I just a fickle person or these changes also relate to a phase in my life? In my own conclusion, the colors I wear usually reflects what I felt that day or that stage in my life... Before I surround myself in lots of blue and since as what some research shows, it means that I was in search for inner peace and truth and then it changes... But, still there is still that inner blue inside of me that can't be totally forgotten. 

How about you? What is your favorite color??? Does their meaning coincide with where you are now or with who you are?? 
 Here is copy of the article I read while seeking answers to these questions... :

Your Personality Color

To discover your personality color, ask yourself:
what is my favorite color?
Answer this question now before reading any further.
Don't think about it, be spontaneous with your answer; accept the first color that comes into your mind and don't analyze your choice. 
It is this instinctual choice of a color that tells you a lot about yourself, how you function and how others see you. It is the means to understanding your behavior and your character traits as well as your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual states. It reflects the way you operate in the world, your strengths and weaknesses, your vulnerabilities, your deepest needs and your challenges at that time in your life.
If you have two equally favorite colors, read the information on both to fully understand yourself and what motivates you.
Your personality color does not have to be one you wear all the time; it is usually your favorite, the color that excites you the most and makes you feel alive when you see it. That being said, you are often drawn to your personality color for clothing and home decorating. It is often a predominant color in your aura.

Dislike of a Color
The colors you dislike can tell you a lot about yourself as well, often reflecting your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Your most disliked color will relate to areas in your life that need to be given attention or past hurts that need to be healed. It is a good idea to try to incorporate a small amount of your disliked colors into your life by using them in clothing or underwear or in your home, to help balance your energies. Rejecting whole colors can create imbalances in your life.
Does everyone have a favorite color?
Most of us do and many of us have had the same one since childhood. Some will change this color once or more times during their lifetime while others will have one color for their whole lifetime. Some will prefer another color for a while, depending on their needs at that time, but will come back to their original favorite when those specific needs are met.
For those of you who don't think you have a personality color, look at the clothes you wear and the way you choose to decorate your home or office. Are there one or more colors you consistently choose? Then these will be the colors that reflect your personality and your deepest needs. Whether you like or dislike a color can be dependent on your own life experiences and your positive and negative associations to the color as well as your need for the qualities of that color.
Surround yourself with the colors you love, either by wearing them or using them decoratively in your environment. They will empower you to be true to yourself, to show your true colors.
Always use a small amount of other colors with your favorites to keep your energies and behavior balanced.
Have you changed your favorite color?
If you have changed your personality color, or favorite color, try to identify the circumstances surrounding your life at that time as your new favorite will reflect qualities you need to attract into your life to help you deal with those circumstances.

What does your favorite or personality color say about you?
While you may not exhibit all the character traits of your personality color, you will find yourself somewhere in the description. You may also find you exhibit some of the negative traits, particularly when you are stressed.

If your favorite color is red, you are action oriented with a deep need for physical fulfillment and to experience life through the five senses.
If orange is your favorite color, you have a great need to be with people, to socialize with them, and be accepted and respected as part of a group. You also have a need for challenges in your life, whether it is physical or social challenges.
Choosing yellow as your favorite means you have a deep need for logical order in your everyday life and to be able to express your individuality by using your logical mind to inspire and create new ideas.
If green is your favorite, you have a deep need to belong, to love and be loved, and to feel safe and secure. You need acceptance and acknowledgment for the everyday things you do for others - just a 'thank you' is sufficient.
Lovers of blue have a deep need to find inner peace and truth, to live their life according to their ideals and beliefs without having to change their inflexible viewpoint of life to satisfy others.
Indigo lovers have a need to feel in harmony and at one with the Universe and to be accepted by others as the aware and intuitive spiritual beings that they are.
If purple or violet is your favorite color, you have a deep need for emotional security and to create order and perfection in all areas of your life, including your spiritual life. You also have a deep need to initiate and participate in humanitarian projects, helping others in need.
If your personality color is pink you have a deep need to be accepted and loved unconditionally.
If turquoise is your favorite color your deepest need is to create emotional balance in your life, to be able to express your hopes and dreams no matter how idealistic they may be and to make your own way in the world under your own terms.
If your favorite color is magenta, you are a non-conformist who sees life from a different point of view.
Lovers of brown have a deep need for a safe, secure, simple and comfortable existence with supportive family and friends.
Lovers of black have a need for power and control in order to protect their own emotional insecurities.
If white is your personality color, your deepest need is for simplicity in your own life and to be independent and self-reliant so you do not need to depend on anyone else.
With gray as your favorite color, you are the middle of the road type, cool, conserved, composed and reliable. You tend to conform just to keep the peace.
If silver is your favorite, you are intuitive and insightful and have a strong connection with a higher spiritual guidance.
With a personality color gold, you radiate charisma, personality and individuality, making others feel relaxed and valued in your company.

After the title, I attached the link to the article, you can check it our for a more detailed meaning of your favorite color. I suggest you check it out since it contains some very interesting and even helpful insights.  


Thursday, February 6, 2014


It's good to reminisce during our school days, standing outside the street enjoying a stick or two of fishballs or squid balls. Although there are lots of these stuff in the groceries but what makes
these more special is the sauce... I just wanted to share a recipe I found while browsing the internet - it's the recipe for fishball sauce. It tastes almost exactly like it did with the street vendors way back in school...

1 tbsp vinegar
3 tbsp soy sauce
6 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp cornstarch
1 cup water
1 tbsp hot sauce (Optional)
Mix the ingredients in a sauce pan,
Cook over low heat while stirring continuously until thick.
Transfer to bowl and serve hot with with deep fried fish balls or squid balls.

* One piece of advice that I can give is that, one should be immediately generous with the sugar since apparently, not all of them has the same sweetness... Taste first then follow where your tastebuds are bringing you..