Have you ever wondered if someone you're talking to is telling a lie, a colorful version of the truth or just plain old truth? Meeting a lot of people everyday, I found it quite a difficult task to distinguish the honest from the liars or the plain psychotic. Yes, I can honestly say I've been lied to numerous times already. I have always believed that there is still some good people around but as the years go by, I am finding it more hard to find true and sincere people. Is it desperation in difficult times or is it already a regular part of their daily routine? Call me naive but I live by the mantra that honesty is still the best policy. I also believe in karma - "what you give to thee, comes back to you in multiples of three".
So, how can you tell if you're talking to a liar??? Here are some tips:
- Eyes - I always find it fascinating to look at the person or observe a person's eyes when I'm talking to them. I got this from a training I had a long time ago and it has since then been very helpful. When a person is remembering something he usually rolls his eyes to the left if he's right handed, if he's left handed - he rolls it to the right. Since the dominant part of the brain is opposite of your favored hand. So, when you notice that he rolls his eyes opposite to his dominant side, this usually means that he is making something up. Dominant side, usually pertains to memories and the opposite side, your creativity, that is why rolling it to the right for right handed people simply means he is making something up. It could also be detected by rapid blinking or rubbing of the eye.
- Eye contact - before, we can say that a person who doesn't look you straight in the eye is lying but liars knows about it already therefore they intentionally maintain eye contact. Just be more observant, unusual length of time that he maintains this eye contact could be a sign or his eye contact would just seem unnatural.
- Hand movements- when a person whom you are talking to is relaxed and doesn't have anything to hide, his body position exhibits a more open position. Crossed arms at the front could mean that he is not welcoming any of your inputs. Maybe because he already has a set decision or story in mind. Verbally he might be agreeing to what you are talking but deep inside he's thinking about something else. Nose touching or covering the mouth is also another sign of uneasiness. An article said that when a person is lying, there is a rush of adrenaline to the capillaries thus causing the nose to itch.
- Sweating - Polygraph tests usually uses this as a measure to test for lies aside from the increase in heart rate and pulse rate. Unnatural increase in sweat is a sign that someone is not comfortable. It shows unease or nervousness.
- Leaning - When you are talking to a person and he leans towards you, it might mean that he is actually interested to what you are actually saying but when he leans backwards this could mean that he is distancing himself from you meaning that he is not giving more information that is necessary. It could also show lack of interest or a sense of dislike towards the person that he is talking to.
- Yawning or bored attitude - This could show that he acts as if he is bored or act casual but it could also mean that he is trying to cover up a deception.
- Verbal cues - A person who is lying is innately very defensive. When you are just talking about something or stating an opinion he will jump at you and become very defensive and go for an all out explanation or show signs of distress or anger. He might act sarcastic or pretend to be humorous but as a matter of fact he is just to cover his web of lies and distract you or drive you further away from the truth. Subtle delays in response could mean that he is still making up what he will answer.
There is no harm in protecting yourself from these snakes and being careful.